Canada’s Wonderland
Canada’s Wonderland has always been a really special place for me. I remember how each summer passed I grew slightly taller and was able to ride on one more ride. I had to stand up against the height measurements by each roller coaster (yes, I totally pulled the tippy toe trick on more than one occasion) and then, heaven awaited me. Slowly but surely, I watched different roller coasters get added year by year and the theme park slowly gaining in fullness. It was always fun to guess what the new ride each summer was going to be like.
Now, one thing you should all know about me, possibly more than anything else is this: I LOVE rollercoasters. I absolutely crave them. (I won’t go into my unabridged list of cravings!) It’s like my vestibular system needs to ride on rollercoasters every once and a while and without that, I am at a complete loss.
If there’s one thing you should all know about Cinchel, it’s this: Cinchel HATES rollercoasters. He frets, he wails, he expels edibles. I talked him into three roller coasters and a water ride, though….powers of female persuasion that one!
click for more pics…
Why no! I did not take my camera on the rollercoasters…. (whistles innocently)
Okay, people, Keep it Like a Secret: the best time ever to go to Canada’s Wonderland is when it opens at the very beginning. That way, there are absolutely no lines. Ever ride fifteen rollercoasters in 20 minutes? No? You’re really missing out then, aren’t you?
Yes let’s talk about the Wild Beast…at one time, I am pretty sure it was the fastest wooden roller coaster in existence. There’s a story that comes with this. When I was very young (think like seven) I rode on this ride with my dad. Well, as the roller coaster climbed the large hill, I saw all of the cool teenagers I wanted to be like raising their hands in the air for the descent. Well…I thought I would do this too….
This is perhaps my earliest and definitely my closest brush with death. Because, I actually flew out of the roller coaster. You know that animated boy in Waking Life that just sort of floats endlessly upwards? That could have been me. Although, in this case, it’s an awfully good thing my dad caught me literally by my ankles and pulled me back in because as well all know, in real life, what goes up must eventually come down.
Now, this probably should have scarred me for life but as usual, I have no common sense, and so soon after I caught my breath, I sure enough started teasing to go on another roller coaster-probably the Minebuster!
Ah yes, the Bat…no one…and I mean NO ONE would go on this with me. My dad and I went on this once and he actually (for the first time ever!) got really sick afterwards. I wanted to go again. It’s so super cool. The thing actually loops you around first forwards and then backwards
(I just liked this one visually)
Yes, let’s talk about the Bridge….I’m standing here taking pictures of a water ride but really…the ride is standing on the bridge (or as my father calls it “Baptism Bridge”) where I’m at as the water hits you from the impact of the boat ride onto the flatter surface. It’s almost a religious experience…truly. This year, the announcer for the ride was telling people on the bridge when it was a fuller boat to help rev us up. Yay!
I really think this ride is kinda lame…I mean, you don’t get to go upside down or inside out or anything…but hey, Cinchel liked it.
The Vortex
more coasters
I convinced Cinchel to go on this one with me once.
The Skyrider. I always liked watching this one but in actuality, because it’s a stand up roller coaster, it really makes your head hurt bouncing it from side to side after a while. Don’t confuse this explanation for someone wimping out, mind you…ya hear?
some more just beautiful ones of Canada’s Wonderland
Okay and now…if you have made it thus far…I need to vent just a tiny tiny bit so bear with me here….Canada’s Wonderland is owned by Paramount, which is technically an American company. In it’s hey day, it really had the most creative of shows-I remember one in particular called Fantasy when I was really rather young. This year, it was all about School of Rock. The film was okay but the production of it was a bit nauseating…why? Because they featured virtually no Canadian bands in it. It was all rock bands but not even Rush was included. The only thing that was Canadian was a two line snippet of a Guess Who song.
Equally frustrating was the fact that near every roller coaster line was installed a set of tvs in which videos played…yet, there was only one video that was by a Canadian that I saw-Fefe Dobson I believe-and then just tons of trashy American videos…do I really need to see the Hoobastank video while I am waiting for a rollercoaster? Do I need to see the latest Live video (which btw, is probably the worst and I mean worst most shlocky video I have ever seen. The entire video which I suffered through multiple times features some Kristen Dunst look alike who dives into the water and meets her even dumber boyfriend half way for a shmaltzy kiss while words like Believe flash across the screen in excrutiatingly awful white cursive video writing. It’s just wholly wretched beyond belief. The only semi acceptable (and I mean that ever so loosely but in the world of Canada’s Wonderland videos, we must all apply the applicable theory of relativity) videos were U2’s Vertigo and Coldplay’s “Clocks.”
And…what bothers me is that there are just thousands of Canadian bands to choose from that could be featured in both the yearly dramatic feature and the videos before the rides. You could have an entire music production based around Leonard Cohen songs! Or for videos, why not the Dears, Sloan, Hot Hot Heat, The Tangiers, Cowboy Junkies…I could just go on and on and on and on. Why not just celebrate Canada? It just depresses me.